A Surprising Phone Call

Remember my post about having radio surgery on my liver? I wrote how nervous I was, I even posted on Instagram and asked for prayers. I've felt a sense of calmness all week, ready to move forward with the next step of treatment since I finished chemo. I was ready to kill off part of my liver so the leftover tumors would stay away forever. I was ready to do whatever it took to say I am cancer free.

Last night (Wednesday) I got a phone call from my radiation oncologist telling me he has good news for me...he can not find the cancer.

My liver is cancer-free.

What?! Let me explain how this happened...

I went in on Monday for for a consultation with this doctor at the Huntsman Cancer Institute who specializes in SBRT. My parents drove up from California to spend the day with the kids, and Matt and I were ready to spend the morning doing all the prep work. Meeting with this doctor and his resident, I felt so great. They thoroughly went over the plan with exactly how this treatment works and explained its great success rate, they even mentioned the word cure a few times. It felt as if they gave me the boxing gloves for my next round. Half this cancer battle is mental, these doctors know how to insert hope and I'm grateful for that.

I found my escape place at the Huntsman, here Matt and I sunbathed when we had about 45 minutes between appointments :)

Of course he gets a nap in :)

So onto the prep for radiation. This was a bit gnarly. While listening to Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons in a dimmed room, I laid on a body-sized bag that felt as if it was filled with sand. I wiggled my body to get it comfortable and 3 medical technicians pushed up the bag of sand all around me from head to toe. As they did this, the bag hardened around me, shaping to my body. Then what looked like saran wrap and another few bags of sand were laid over me and wrapped around me from the belly button down, with my hands underneath it all. It was oddly comfortable, thankfully not claustrophobic since my chest or face wasn't in the mold or covered with that stuff. In this position (my body mold, ha!) they gave me a tattoo marker (ouch, thanks for the warning) in the center of my upper abdomen.  My doctor wanted to do another detailed scan of my liver since the last one was in May, about a month ago. So in this position, I went through the CT scan with a very strong dose of contrast leaving me a bit dizzy and disoriented. That was it!

My doctor told me he and his team need a week to plan and map out how they will do the radiation and I was scheduled to get my first of three of these treatments starting the following Monday. So I came home, relieved that part was over and got ready to enjoy the rest of the week with my family with no more doctor's appointments.

Wednesday evening I was driving with my family to Andrew's t-ball game when I see I am getting a phone call. I answer it and am surprised that it's my doctor. I wave to Matt and the kids to be quiet!

Is this a good time to talk?
Yeah, but I'm in the car.
Are you driving?

This isn't a good sign, I thought.

My doctor went on to tell me he had good news. He said he's been looking at my liver a lot -- "well not 24/7, but a good part of the last few days" is exactly what he said. He concluded he doesn't feel comfortable doing this procedure because looking at my scans from Monday, he isn't sure where the tumors are. He isn't sure where the tumors are because there are no tumors. Not only could he not see any cancer, he couldn't even see the trace of where they were.

I was shocked. I was not expecting this. I didn't know what to say or how to respond. I didn't know what questions to ask or where to go from there. I was in the car on the way to a t-ball game, telling my son to put his socks and shoes on and we were talking about what we should do for dinner afterwards when my doctor called and told me my liver was cancer free. The scan was clear.

Remember the photos I posted with the measurements of the tumors? The shaded gray areas of cancer? Well, good news, they're gone! This was the news I wished I had gotten in May, but I guess it took the last of chemo to wipe it clean. This was why I did chemo, this is what I've been working towards for the last 6 months!

It hit me later that night, after the game and dinner and bedtime, when I could finally sit quietly and reflect on the meaning of it all. Not only were hundreds of people praying for me this week, my sister-in-law started a 40 day fast for me. This fast started last week. Since the first day of the fast I haven't felt sick. Literally the day before I was in bed all day, I had a constant bloody nose, no appetite, and an all-around sick feeling. The day the fast began, I felt like my old self. I did so much and not only was I feeling better physically, I was in a better place mentally. I was HAPPY! When you go from sick and sad to healthy and happy so quickly, I thought about what was different and why. I know the fasting is helping me. And then to get a phone call from my doctor to tell me (he was surprised as well, too) that after all that work and prep and doctors on my case, they don't need to do radio surgery treatment after all because there is nothing to treat...well I'd say that's a miracle.

So what now?

I talked to my doctor again today and we decided we most likely will do some sort of radiation to my liver (to get any microscopic cancer cells that can't be seen in a scan), but a very low dose over an extended period of time, not radio surgery where part of my liver dies. There are lots of options actually, and so we are going to wait until after I have my surgery and recover a few weeks to have another scan and think about the best option for me. My doctor told me today "there is less cancer to work with so this is bad news you want to have". I couldn't agree more!

<<If you want to participate in the fast for me click here to sign up for a day. Matt's sister posted these instructions on Facebook.

          Dear family, I wanted to give you all the chance to participate in the 40 day (or more) 
          fast for Lisa. The idea is to have one person fast for Lisa every day for at least 40 
          days. The fasts start at 6pm mountain time every day and end 24 hrs later. There is 
          so much power in fasting and so many blessings that can come from it.

          June is all taken, but we need to fill up July! When you sign up, please give me some 
          contact info--phone or email. If you give me email, don't put in the @, just leave it out.

          Also, the day you sign up for is the day the fast will START. So, if you sign up for 
          Sunday, you will be starting on Sunday night and fasting through Monday.

Thank you to all who are participating in this! Fast and pray for this medicine and treatment to rid my body of this disease once and for all. Pray to receive strength and the ability to endure. Pray for knowledge because sometimes I'm not sure what to make of this whole thing and the decisions we have to make sometimes feel heavy. Pray for Matt. Pray the kids will keep thriving and smiling and being themselves. I know Heavenly Father is very mindful of me and I have felt the peace and comfort that only He can give. Since I was diagnosed I looked to anyone to tell me my future, to tell me what they know will happen. It was an extremely hard to come to the realization that no one could tell me with certainty that everything is going to be ok, except for my Heavenly Father. Throughout the course of the past 6 months I reminded myself of the blessing Matt gave me and the feeling of "everything is going to be ok". I've been holding onto that feeling, trying to figure out exactly how I am going to be ok. I strongly felt today the most memorable, best, and important days are ahead of me and that is something I can look forward to.

You guys! I got a clear scan AND I get another full week of no doctor's appointments or chemo. This is my last week before surgery and we're going to make it count, cramming in as much summer stuff as possible :)